hh tabs on friends, not like that's weird or anything

Amanda Sweetheart 

• from chicago
• likes roblox
• gets too bored easily
• impatient with trying to get stickers
• met at library 2017
• met saki through her
• black
• told me and saki her real age in wine cellar
• were freaking out
• in my original friend group with Brent, Hailey's, misaki, haydon, æs, drea, meag, trey, melody, bqby (can't remember her name), Tess, and kaiser
• had a chaotic wedding with haydon which I have video of
• haydon was at a movie theater irl the whole time
• only the adults took the whole thing seriously :,)
• unfriended bc she never played
• alts Gabbie Love, Alex Undermen
• knows Hannah Montana's secret

Tess Tickles

• alt Mike Literus
• met at kitchen '17/18
• she tried to troll me by being rude and then I criticized her poor spelling of Tourette's and we became friends
• from texas
• name is La(something) Lashawnda? Latasha?
• caucasian
• has 2 kids, older boy and babygirl
• was in her late 20s
• has husband
• smokes weed a lot
• talks about her kids a lot
• can actually talk a lot
• unfriended her bc we literally talked for hours about nothing...
• mentally wasn't in good place
• just didn't feel like talking to ppl anymore esp with saki and Amanda gone 
• tp-ed to simpleG once while he was with her and she confronted me about unfriending
• "we were t5!", "bitch" lmfao
• friended me back after I explained I wasn't in a good place and had a lot of anxiety
• was totally chill and understanding, then said not to do it again
• bday in may? September??
• knows Hannah Montana's secret

Kaiser Soze

• alt Yoinkina Pickle (female)
• is a late 20s, causasian female Australian, but kaiser is black male
• named based on someone from movie
• lgbt, likes small talk and philosophy
• has way too many friends
• one of my first queer friends
• super friendly, could chat for literally hours
• has her own soundcloud jamming with guitar
• introduced me to Sienna d'enema and jiz on yt
• invited her to hh's discord, which died
• invited me to be admin of hh queer discord group
• didn't get off the ground
• introduced her to Tundra and became acquaintances
• had to ghost tundra bc I wasn't friends with kaiser anymore
• probably ruined my relationship with tundra
• unfriended, tried to friend me back, didn't accept
• wasn't in a good place mentally irl
• knew Hannah Montana's secret

Misaki-kun / Saki

• where to begin...
• met her through Amanda, which I was initially nervous about
• we warmed up to each other fast though, she was easy going and really funny
• taurus, bday in may
• became one of my friends in my close circle
• met me when my name was still Cairn and then changed it to Cha Cha
• started calling my 'Chair' as an inside joke
• and panda for Amanda
• was the only one to know about Brent's real age, which she flipped out about
• invited her bf trey from a Naruto game to hh so we'd all have boyfriends LMAO
• half white half black
• fell asleep during most of Amanda's wedding due to homework
• she was always moving weird and used gesture combos along with the strangest emojis
• has a twin brother, younger sister
• I was mad that she had a twin bc I really wanted one and she thought I was actually mad at her, which I wasn't
• it ruined the vibe for 1 day lol
• from Florida, latino/black/asian?, Haiti?? a French speaking country
• was 15 at the time
• was shocked to learn about her parents that barely feed her and her siblings lol
• was super popular and made friends easily
• hotel homies
• hh's first discord which she invited me to
• used to talk on snapchat
• stopped bc idk how to use the damned thing
• was friends with æs and drea bc all from florida
• always has the weirdest life experiences and stories
• account disconnected in 2018 around halloween bc of locked out of gamecenter
• scared of her dad lmao
• joined highrise during her whole haitus
• wanted to get a job asap so she could spend money on hh
• ended up spending $700 on hr
• made multiple noob accounts to get in contact with me
• after guilt tripping her and her contacting hh support and fb support to get her old account back, she used her dads email and password to retrieve her account and connect it to apple
• used to own a Huawei
• does art and likes korean/weeb stuff
• told me about her background with boys and online dating on discord
• dated a boy who used a fake pfp of a cute skater guy but was a nerdy British guy
• broke up with trey, who's still hopelessly in love with her, bc he gained weight and isn't good looking
• but really he has a lot of red flags
• worked at chipotle
• wants to be a pharmacist or pharmacy tech and work at Walgreens
• showed her face on her insta and told me her name at velvet
• is mad that she still hasn't seen my face and haven't told her my name lmaoo
• fay/fabienne
• told me her address so that I could buy her postmates (crazy girl!)
• bought her $30 worth of Wendy's for her and her sis
• weird coincidence: was talking to soaked about having missed her being on hh and she came back the next day, then got her account back, and deleted her old name saki
• had lots and lots of alts, like 6
• simplegentleman/sake, chisato Neko, myspace, all of her alts looked the same
• taught me how to switch between accounts during a rift
• amazed by how dedicated she was to playing hh, literally never met anyone who was on this game as much as she was
• played theme on the beach for hours
• Amanda always got bored easily
• says she wants to play hh more but then literally gets discouraged :,)
• brother is held back in school (still in hs while she's in college)
• mom almost called cops on brother
• won't get psychiatric help
• doesn't get along with her brother
• had trouble during the pandemic, tried helping her find ways to get stimulus lol but idk what happened
• knows Hannah Montana's secret and thinks its gone too far lol

c0rRuPt3dblu (Brent)

• met at velvet
• talked about how we never seen game of thrones, olympic sport of curling, other random stuff
• from canada
• is native american
• talked about his hate for racism against natives in canada
• said he wanted to come to california
• had gotten out of a relationship with his ex who had two kids
• was shook when he told me he was native american
• I thought all native Americans were dark skinned and looked like Jacob
• introduced me to the world of light skinned natives
• worked a forklift
• wanted to get more into journaling and coloring
• deceased father
• sent lots of emails to me with wholesome pics and videos
• was in his late twenties lol
• watched game of thrones simultaneously once
• had an alt named Jaqueline and accidentally scared Amanda with it because he had her name in his bio lol
• told him I didn't want to be in a relationship or date anyone but he ignored my requests
• only dated for a short time (few months)
• he wanted a wife and I couldn't be that
• knew me prior to caca

Soaked

• met as HaleyOnDealWithIt
• pretended Jason DJ was her brother/bf?
• Jason dj was her first account created in 2016
• had another account called Sleepy
• deleted because she fought with someone 
• changed her name to Fineafo Mean to be like Sineado?
• locked out of fineafo mean for not knowing password 2018
• was friends with lots of 2017 elites/pros
• Sineado dated Chad, chad turned out to be a girl
• used to be close with Dcentttt
• has many insta accounts bc she can't remember passwords to save her life
• had an uncle that killed himself
• was sexually assaulted by a family friend
• is Muslim and from australia, pakistani
• our relationship was super wholesome in the beginning
• I would listen to her tell me about languages and she'd go on about how to say hello or good morning in different languages
• though she may have been using a translator...
• teens
• when we first met in 2017 we used to be really randomly mean to each other like bratty sisters
• she told me she was 18 when really she was like 13 and I used to clown on her for that
• she was super scared she was gonna get banned, and rightfully so
• some creepy girl on ig sent her nudes and her sis thought it was me lol
• switched accounts to be on Chinese vegan but then couldn't get back on Soaked
• account connected to her sis's FB account which soaked told her to delete
• the death of Soaked 2021
• had a lot of elite friends: Mum, etc.
• used to date some girl on hh (ommi?)
• reconnected with during pandemic
• likes sciences, doesn't like music, art, geography, history
• watches every trending show known to man
• got into anime
• shared interest of aot, avatar, danganronpa
• the most disorganized, chaotic person I've ever met when it comes to saving accounts
• knows each other's ethnicities, but both don't like giving out personal info
• has 2 brothers and 2 sisters
• we used to jinx a lot in conversations it was really weird
• I offended her once one time and she got really mad and we didn't talk for like a week lol
• likes playing line game
• bday jan 4
• literally has no pictures or videos of 2017 days because they were all deleted :')
• heard saki call me 'Chair' and has since kept the joke alive
• have inside jokes about the growing community of indo players
• kamu pro
• told spinel jokingly that I was indonesian so then she started talking to me in indo lool
• inside jokes about other players, e.g. style, spaceman, njoy', uzi trix
• got me into watching style's streams bc there were only 10 watchers omg
• lived throughout the hh hacking of 2020 with her
• changed our bios to noobs and tried to stay offline from hh
• went to different "hacker" rooms with our alts
• deleted any people who recently added us
• her clearing her almost entire friends list...
• knows Hannah Montana's secret

spinel / ghostbur

• allegedly met in Sunset? I put on the pink rage skin and she sent a rq (to her recollection)
• I stg we met in her "cuties" room and she let me in bc of my pink text
• said she didn't like pink hair bc it reminded her of her enemy (who's name goes something along 'pink hair')
• asked if she could friend me and I said yes (idk if the right person)
• met during pandemic
• said I love you lol
• was unusually close to me and I wasn't sure why
• turned out she thought I was an age regressor
• relationship lessened when she knew I wasn't
• I was drawn to the amount of cookies she had lol (200k)
• I was hh starstruck
• dated someone on lb (#7)
• Oubliette, Spaceman, many many other names (Dreadnought, Executioner, bum butt)
• now deleted
• introduced me to hapi-cat, funny person who no longer plays
• alt was GLaDOS / rA9, references to video games
• likes video games and cartoons
• connected with soaked over their shared history with hh pros
• said she only had like 20 friends, which I beg to differ!
• had an art insta, now deleted
• broke up with Spaceman, although when I asked if they were together they said they weren't!?!
• off and on rela
• had to take a break from HH bc of it
• Spaceman repeatedly deleted me as a friend
• from Australia, previously muslim
• around 18-20
• according to soaked, he used to be d3mon(something)
• told me something inappropriate in arabic (zibura bi tizi)
• super rude, but I remember him being super nice to spinel
• friends with glib / aft
• translated that it was inappropriate
• was also friends with the infamous emo Johnny
• 18, from Texas, living in Alabama, nonbinary, feb 2018 account
• mom is nurse, dad manager, has 8 siblings
• wants to become nurse
• has anxiety, goes to therapy
• came out and told me that she used to be a popular player called Malicious
• had an hh insta and everything but deleted bc of toxic ppl bullying her
• changed her name and deleted everyone
• soaked knew the tea
• doesn't like style
• once asked me, "who are you really caca"
• trying to get her to think I'm actually a man
• once thought I was secretly richë
• riche hates her
• bday dec 5
• only knows caca

Bleep Blop

• janitor, not in a bad way
• loves rp and a/s cartoons
• has insta - hunson abadeer
• previous names: Knick Knack, Rusti Confetti, ...
• they/them
• thinks their boring and not interesting
• says that society doesn't like someone like them :(
• very cryptic and personal person, which I respect
• from kansas
• mid twenties
• old friend: dipper pine
• met at pool?
• caucasian
• thinks that I'm super mysterious haha
• only knows caca

Tundra Holiday

• met at sunset under tree
• has social anxiety
• likes watching cooking shows
• loves black forrest cake
• has Spotify premium
• loves music
• aesthetically pleasing bio symmetry
• birthday march 19
• has hh insta
• australian
• mid twenties, caucasian
• I made a deal with her to give each other our 3 daily cookies/gifts? to each other and she kept it
• stopped playing during pandemic
• only knows caca
• invited her to hh discord, which died
• also why she prob stopped playing

Disclaimer: This list is for my own memory, which is known to be really bad. Especially at remembering tiny details of people's lives whom I will never meet in real life. It's hard to match memories to someone when they're just a pixel in a game. I actually respect these people and would like to preserve the memory of our conversations from my perspective for whatever it's worth. These people were my friends when I didn't have any in real life. And the thought of knowing I had someone out there who got to know me as a person got me through my loneliness in college. 

Lasting thoughts on why HH has changed for me over the years

HH was my first multiplayer, social game ever. When the game said it was for people 17+ I just outright assumed that mostly everyone there would be 17 and up, especially if they wrote their age in the bio. But over time you realize that a lot of the people there aren't above 17 or lie about their age, which is typical of online games. Hell I used to do the same thing on social dating apps as a teen. But when you go through the lens that everyone there is probably around your same age, which for me was 19 at the time, you go around thinking you could make friends with just about anyone. I treated each person equally. While some people I'd connect with intellectually were appropriate for their ages, 20+, I'd meet a couple people who seemed older than what they actually were. And when they built enough trust to tell me their age I'd be absolutely shocked at how young they were. This game truly opened me up to how smart kids can be and act. It made me be very nonjudgmental of people on the app. This person's 12? Alright, your age is safe with me. Just don't get into trouble but report suspicious people. Looking back on it, I had a very naive and innocent view of the world back then. I'd always empathize with kids and treat them semi-equally like how I'd wanted to be treated when I was younger. Because even at 19, I was nowhere near to what a 19 year old would be doing with their life. But going back to what I was saying, I guess it has to do with the psychology of openness when you walk into something thinking you're being surrounded by others who are probably the same as you. When in reality walking into something as diverse as a multiplayer mobile game, you attract people from all walks of life.

So I guess the factors would be: my limited perspective, the game's evolution, and the community.

It was a lot easier to make friends with people on the app when you were just starting out. It's like some kind of kryptonite now to be an older, higher elite player. I read on someone's bio recently how lonely it became being level 50 and how when they were a noob, everyday was an adventure on HH. I couldn't relate more and it's what probably prompted me to look retrospectively on my experiences with HH and how it pales in comparison to when I first started out in 2017. There are so many things to take into consideration now when making friends. Back then you could just relate to anyone just for being downright bored. There was also less to do on the app, which gave more creative opportunities to the players. My friend group back then were like mismatched socks; in age, personality, backgrounds, and locations. But nowadays it's harder to connect with people if you don't have the same interests, tastes, aesthetics, styles, levels. The personalities of people in the hotel have evolved into that of niches like in high school. I think we tie so much of our identities to our avatars that we limit our freedom for fun so that our embarrassments won't be attached to our personas. It was so much easier to act a fool back then. Now I'm so caught up with how cool I want to appear to others.

One thing that I liked of the early days of HH were that our anonymities were respected. As the game moved forward people started giving out their personal socials; Instas, snapchats, discords, etc. I guess I'm still like a grandma in that regard. Sometimes I wonder if all these things were probably going on in 2017 when I was starting out but just didn't notice it. But there seems to be a consensus with older players that the game hasn't been the same since 2018 and that it's not fun anymore. Could it be the same problem? That the community is no longer the same? That more kids/young teens are playing this game and making it less appealing to adults? That there was more to do in the simplistic days of the game and not the way how the game tried to capitalize on the consumer's money since 2018? A lot of people say it has to do with the toxicity of the community: offensive rooms, toxic members, immaturity. A lot of really cool members left over the years. It's harder to socialize with people when they mainly keep to themselves and their friend groups. It really is beginning to feel like the beginning of highschool or college. If you don't make friends during orientation or the first year of school, it's harder to make friends later on. Maybe it just has to do more with seniority more than anything.

Growing up as well. When you've had so many friendships with strangers, telling each other so much of yourselves, only to be disappointed and embarrassed that you've shared too much of yourself that you retreat from this person who now knows too much about you. And you realize later that maybe I don't actually trust this person to know me so intimately. It's probably one of the main reasons for the failure and downfalls of my friendships; that it discourages me from reliving the same scenarios and taking gambles on people who may not be the best fit for me as a friend.

So that might be the pill I have to swallow. I can't just go making frivolous friendships like I did before. You actually want to screen the person first before you go spending your free time on someone who won't be there later on. But is that valid? What about the other people in your list above? Were those relationships a waste of time because some of them are no longer in your life? Would you rather not have lived those moments at all? Maybe you shouldn't go expecting something serious or meaningful from all your relationships and go into it with no expectations at all. Because the appeal of a friendship should be the spontaneity of it. Especially on a game as lighthearted as HH. Maybe I'm looking way into this than I should be. I think the main original issue is that this game attracts a younger audience, therefore you get younger and more immature players on the game which calls for shallow interests and surface level friendships. Case closed. Thank you for reading my lasting and preliminary thoughts on this matter evolve.