Life, in general

may 8 the death of me today i finally made the observation of the two versions of me one from childhood, one from adolescence and adulthood i realize that i cannot go on being these two separate personalities one must die in order to not contradict the other this is the personality i've known of myself from childhood i can no longer be this person because i am no longer that person who i cherished so closely i can let this person go in order to not drive away the people who will come to know me because these two personalities cannot exist in one person i cannot be easygoing and funny while being shy and sad i cannot be expressive and affectionate while needing space and being cold i cannot be outlandish and quirky while being pensive and modest a comment on yt vid: You are not wrong. Time solves nothing, it never has and never will. But even though I generally agree with your point of view, the way you feel is not new. I'm 36 and often depressed by the way things are. Still, al...

apr 27 What does it mean to be neurotic?   i have no one else to check myself except me if i don't, no one will when i see other people and how they speak and conduct themselves i ask myself why i can't be like them why can't my ideas or insights be as good as theirs? why would anyone want to be near me if i have nothing meaningful or original to say? was is something that i lacked in my childhood? good things happen to nice people i'm not a nice person and it's something that i haven't been able to fundamentally change are they nice people? maybe i'm subjected to a life of unfulfillment because of my inability to be inherently kind i can so easily see the good in people because it's something i know i don't have, or maybe they're just better at hiding it whilst i pretend so that they won't dislike me i don't know anymore i just know that i see good things happening to good people and there's something missing in me to be truthfully k...