Life, in general

may 8 the death of me today i finally made the observation of the two versions of me one from childhood, one from adolescence and adulthood i realize that i cannot go on being these two separate personalities one must die in order to not contradict the other this is the personality i've known of myself from childhood i can no longer be this person because i am no longer that person who i cherished so closely i can let this person go in order to not drive away the people who will come to know me because these two personalities cannot exist in one person i cannot be easygoing and funny while being shy and sad i cannot be expressive and affectionate while needing space and being cold i cannot be outlandish and quirky while being pensive and modest a comment on yt vid: You are not wrong. Time solves nothing, it never has and never will. But even though I generally agree with your point of view, the way you feel is not new. I'm 36 and often depressed by the way things are. Still, al...

apr 27 What does it mean to be neurotic?   i have no one else to check myself except me if i don't, no one will when i see other people and how they speak and conduct themselves i ask myself why i can't be like them why can't my ideas or insights be as good as theirs? why would anyone want to be near me if i have nothing meaningful or original to say? was is something that i lacked in my childhood? good things happen to nice people i'm not a nice person and it's something that i haven't been able to fundamentally change are they nice people? maybe i'm subjected to a life of unfulfillment because of my inability to be inherently kind i can so easily see the good in people because it's something i know i don't have, or maybe they're just better at hiding it whilst i pretend so that they won't dislike me i don't know anymore i just know that i see good things happening to good people and there's something missing in me to be truthfully k...

jan 7 the fear within me is something i cannot pinpoint oct 30 sometimes I think about the descent from probable potential the expectations you probably receive when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time it's too much; too much that is put on you when you first come from the womb that my child will be successful, intelligent, and have a good heart they will take care of me when they are older and will start a family of their own, too never the expectation that they could take the wrong path, like develop a debilitating mental illness abuse substances and never reach their fullest potential that my child will grow up to be a jaded failure. you think you did everything right you moved to a better country with less corruption, less crime nicer houses, cars, better jobs, and better education you did everything you could to make sure your child would have a better outcome at life than if they had grown up in a poorer country yet somewhere, somehow something still went wrong...

Amanda Sweetheart  from chicago likes roblox gets too bored easily impatient with trying to get stickers met at library 2017 met saki through her black told me and saki her real age in wine cellar were freaking out in my original friend group with Brent, Hailey's, misaki, haydon, æs, drea, meag, trey, melody, bqby (can't remember her name), Tess, and kaiser had a chaotic wedding with haydon which I have video of haydon was at a movie theater irl the whole time only the adults took the whole thing seriously :,) unfriended bc she never played alts Gabbie Love, Alex Undermen knows Hannah Montana's secret Tess Tickles alt Mike Literus met at kitchen '17/18 she tried to troll me by being rude and then I criticized her poor spelling of Tourette's and we became friends from texas name is La(something) Lashawnda? Latasha ? caucasian has 2 kids, older boy and babygirl was in her late 20s has husband smokes weed a lot talks about her kids a lot can actually talk a lot unfrien...

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 hiding  I think I've been hiding behind my accomplishments or whatever gives me pride in some sort of way and using that as a shield to protect myself from being hurt, and ultimately refusing to learn and grow 

  I am sick. I’m sick. I’m weak. I can’t take this shit anymore. When will they wake up. When will I have the courage to walk out. I’ve been cordial, I’ve been respectful of their beliefs.  I’ve been respectful of my whole country’s belief. But the truth is I’m not OK with it. This belief has enslaved more than it's liberated.  I’m tired of people believing in this conditional entity they believe will grant their wishes. Like he’s some kind of fairy wizard. Because then they go around life thinking they can treat people the same way. That life will grant you whatever you want depending on how hard you beg for it. It is a cult designed as a religion. All people who trick themselves into joining a cult deserve it. I wish Filipinos as a whole would wake up. There are already so many who are, but their numbers pale in comparison. They have been conquered and colonized by so many outside groups. I think it’s time they take back their own identity and not the one romanticized o...